Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
Helen Rowland (1876-1950)
Before you kill something make sure you have something better to replace it with; something better than political opportunist slamming hate horse shit in the public park.
Charles Bukowski
Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
Excerpt from a letter, Illinois Department of Public Aid
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.
Fran Lebowitz
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date.
Caroline Rhea
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Karl Wallenda
