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 :: 1836-1911, British Librettist

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Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Evolution]

 

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Down went the owners -- greedy men whom hope of gain allured: oh, dry the starting tear, for they were heavily insured.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Disasters]

 

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I always voted at my party's call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Elections]

 

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I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Ancestry]

 

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I love my fellow creatures -- I do all the good I can -- yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Philanthropists]

 

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In enterprise of martial kind, when there was any fighting, he led his regiment from behind -- he found it less exciting.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Generals]

 

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It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Food and Eating]

 

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Matrimonial devotion doesn't seem to suit her notion.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Fidelity]

 

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My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Pride]

 

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No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty little beast.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Opinions]

 

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The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Dissatisfaction]

 

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Things are seldom what they seem.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Appearance]

 

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You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself; and how little I deserve it.
~ W. S. Gilbert - [Inferiority]

 

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