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 :: American Humorist, Author

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Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
~ Dave Barry - [Golf]

 

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Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
~ Dave Barry - [Democracy]

 

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Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.
~ Dave Barry - [Men and Women]

 

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I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
~ Dave Barry - [Computers]

 

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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
~ Dave Barry - [Computers]

 

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There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.
~ Dave Barry - [Humankind]

 

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What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.
~ Dave Barry - [Women]

 

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