If an American is hit on the head by a ball at the ballpark, he sues. If a Japanese person is hit on the head, he says, 'It's my honor. It's my fault.'
Koji Yanase  , of the Japan federation of Bar Associations, on why there are half as many lawyers in his country as in the Washington area

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) 

If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
Beau Brummel 

If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
Anonymous 

If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it.
Schopenhauer 

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Carol Leifer 

In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
Christopher Morley 

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
Andre Gide 

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Mae West (1892-1980) 

Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
Anonymous