A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen (1894-1956) 

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
Dean Acheson 

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the moment.
Robert Benchley 

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
Tom Robbins 

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
John G. Pollard 

Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five isn't bad.
Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
Dave Barry 

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.
Terry Pratchett  , Moving Pictures

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) 

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
Robert Frost (1874-1963)