Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
Ken Dodd 

I am not young enough to know everything.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) 

I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
Bart Simpson  , young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
Nancy Mitford 

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
Al Bernstein 

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
Tom Robbins  - Still Life With Woodpecker

Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
Miriam Robbins 

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
Charles Lamb 

Mankind owes to the child the best it has to give.
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (1989)

Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as children.
Libby Gelman-Waxner