Academy: A modern school where football is taught.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)  - The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
Erica Jong 

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
Laurence J. Peter 

An egotist is a person of low taste--more interested in himself than in me.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)  - The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

An executive is a person who always decides; sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides.
John H. Patterson 

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
Nicholas Murray Butler 

An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.
Simon Cameron 

An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.
Donald R. Perry Marquis 

ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)  - The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

Belladonna: In Italian, a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)  - The Devil's Dictionary, 1911