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A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.
~ Irvin S. Cobb - [Funerals]

 

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A sudden violent jolt of it has been known to stop the victim's watch, snap his suspenders and crack his glass eye right across.
~ Irvin S. Cobb - [Alcohol and Alcoholism]

 

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An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.
~ Irvin S. Cobb - [Epitaphs]

 

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You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.
~ Irvin S. Cobb - [Fashion]

 

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