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 :: 1908-, British Author

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Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Etiquette]

 

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Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically -- for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist -- but then what isn t?
~ Quentin Crisp - [Lies and Lying]

 

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Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Sex]

 

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The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Control]

 

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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Relationships]

 

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The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Law and Lawyers]

 

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The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as ''Soho'' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Poverty and The Poor]

 

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The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Self-image]

 

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The young always have the same problem -- how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Youth]

 

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This woman did not fly to extremes; she lived there.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Extremes and Extremists]

 

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Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Character]

 

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To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Knowledge]

 

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Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Rewards]

 

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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?''
~ Quentin Crisp - [Atheism]

 

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Whenever we confront an unbridled desire we are surely in the presence of a tragedy-in-the-making.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Desire]

 

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