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 :: 1959-, British Author, Performer

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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
~ Ben Elton - [Love]

 

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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
~ Ben Elton - [Conversation]

 

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People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
~ Ben Elton - [Parasites]

 

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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
~ Ben Elton - [Victims]

 

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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
~ Ben Elton - [World]

 

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