I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
~ Henny Youngman - [Wives]

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o clock.
~ Henny Youngman - [Money]

If your going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.
~ Henny Youngman - [Regret]

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
~ Henny Youngman - [Love]