“To be an ideal guest, stay at home.”
“Nothing is wonderful when you get used to it.”
“No man's credit is ever as good as his money.”
“A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.”
“Fishing seems to be the favorite form of loafing.”
“Don't be crazy to do a lot of things you can't do .”
“Everyone suffers wrongs for which there is no remedy.”
“American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.”
“Abuse a man unjustly, and you will make friends for him.”
“The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in.”
“A modest man is usually admired, if people ever hear of him.”
“When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.”
“If a woman doesn't chase a man a little, she doesn't love him.”
“Half the promises people say were never kept, were never made.”
“I think I am better than the people who are trying to reform me.”
“I believe in grumbling; it is the politest form of fighting known.”
“Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.”
“The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them.”
“The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it.”
“What people say behind your back is your standing in the community.”
“A theory is no more like a fact than a photograph is like a person.”
“Instead of loving your enemies -- treat your friends a little better.”
“When a man says money can do anything, that settles it. He hasn't any.”
“Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.”
“You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue -- agree with him.”
“The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.”
“Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.”
“Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.”
“Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.”
“The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.”