“A pessimist is one who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.”
“This morning I took out a comma and this afternoon I put it back in again.”
“The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.”
“If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it by one's conversation.”
“Morality is the attitude we adopt toward people whom we personally dislike.”
“To become a spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life.”
“I like to do all the talking myself. It saves time, and prevents arguments.”
“There is no country in the world where machinery is so lovely as in America.”
“Private information is practically the source of every large modern fortune.”
“The one person who has more illusions than the dreamer is the man of action.”
“Popularity is the only insult that has not yet been offered to Mr. Whistler.”
“No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.”
“I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.”
“Fashion, by which what is really fantastic becomes for a moment the universal.”
“I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.”
“Yes; the public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.”
“Conversation should touch everything, but should concentrate itself on nothing.”
“One's past is what one is. It is the only way by which people should be judged.”
“It is he who has broken the bond of marriage -- not I. I only break its bondage.”
“All charming people, I fancy, are spoiled. It is the secret of their attraction.”
“I delight in men over seventy. They always offer one the devotion of a lifetime.”
“To make men Socialists is nothing, but to make Socialism human is a great thing.”
“A person who, because he has corns himself, always treads on other people's toes.”
“The State is to make what is useful. The individual is to make what is beautiful.”
“He would stab his best friend for the sake of writing an epigram on his tombstone.”
“What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”
“Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.”
“When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood it is hard to shake hands with her.”
“He thinks like a Tory, and talks like a Radical, and that's so important nowadays.”
“When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.”