Who said “Philosophy stands in the same relation to the study of the actual world as masturbation…”?

“Philosophy is nothing but discretion.”

“A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.”

“Apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there?”

“If this is philosophy it is at any rate a philosophy that is not in its right mind.”

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, / Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

“Capital is dead labor, that vampire-like, only lives by sucking living labor, and lives the more, the more labor it sucks.”

“Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.”

“Capital is money, capital is commodities. By virtue of it being value, it has acquired the occult ability to add value to itself. It brings forth living offspring, or, at the least, lays golden eggs.”

“The product of mental labor -- science -- always stands far below its value, because the labor-time necessary to reproduce it has no relation at all to the labor-time required for its original production.”

“The Tories in England long imagined that they were enthusiastic about monarchy, the church, and the beauties of the old English Constitution, until the day of danger wrung from them the confession that they are enthusiastic only about ground rent.”

“Mankind always sets itself only such tasks as it can solve; since, looking at the matter more closely, we will always find that the task itself arises only when the material conditions necessary for its solution already exist or are at least in the process of formation.”