Who said “I love my fellow creatures -- I do all the good I can -- yet everybody says I'm such a…”?

“Boredom is the legitimate kingdom of the philanthropic.”

“To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.”

“Those who give hoping to be rewarded with honor are not giving, they are bargaining.”

“The worst of charity is that the lives you are asked to preserve are not worth preserving.”

“Philanthropic people lose all sense of humanity. It is their distinguishing characteristic.”

“Things are seldom what they seem.”

“...Darwinian Man, though well-behav’d, At best is only a monkey shav’d!”

“My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.”

“The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.”

“In enterprise of martial kind, when there was any fighting, he led his regiment from behind -- he found it less exciting.”

“I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.”