Who said “There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.”?

“God loveth the clean.”

“Things are seldom what they seem.”

“Cleanliness is indeed next to godliness.”

“He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.”

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”

“Why resist temptation? There will always be more.”

“Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.”

“A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.”

“It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.”

“Unhappiness is not knowing what we want, and killing ourselves to get it.”

“Poverty must have many satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.”