“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”
“For there was never yet philosopher that could endure the toothache patiently.”
“When philosophers try to be politicians they generally cease to be philosophers.”
“Perhaps it is of more value to infuriate philosophers than to go along with them.”
“If this is philosophy it is at any rate a philosophy that is not in its right mind.”
“Philosophers call God ''the great unknown'' ''The great misknown'' is more like it!”
“A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.”
“The philosopher proves that the philosopher exists. The poet merely enjoys existence.”
“Your philosophy determines whether you will go for the disciplines or continue the errors.”
“Take from the philosopher the pleasure of being heard and his desire for knowledge ceases.”
“To be a real philosopher all that is necessary is to hate some one else's type of thinking.”
“Out of Plato come all things that are still written and debated about among men of thought.”
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.”
“I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full and scratch where it itches.”
“Philosophy does not regard pedigree, she received Plato not as a noble, but she made him one.”
“Philosophy! Empty thinking by ignorant conceited men who think they can digest without eating!”
“Philosophy goes no further than probabilities, and in every assertion keeps a doubt in reserve.”
“In Plato's opinion, man was made for philosophy; in Bacon's opinion, philosophy was made for man.”
“All philosophies, if you ride them home, are nonsense, but some are greater nonsense than others.”
“Philosophy, like medicine, has plenty of drugs, few good remedies, and hardly any specific cures.”
“Art requires philosophy, just as philosophy requires art. Otherwise, what would become of beauty?”
“What sort of philosophers are we, who know absolutely nothing about the origin and destiny of cats?”
“We are much beholden to Machiavel and others, that write what men do, and not what they ought to do.”
“Tell me what gives a man or woman their greatest pleasure and I'll tell you their philosophy of life.”
“The philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways; the point, however, is to change it.”
“The philosopher has never killed any priests, whereas the priest has killed a great many philosophers.”
“Philosophy stands in the same relation to the study of the actual world as masturbation to sexual love.”
“The traditional disputes of philosophers are, for the most part, as unwarranted as they are unfruitful.”
“There is nothing so strange and so unbelievable that it has not been said by one philosopher or another.”
“Englishmen are babes in philosophy and so prefer faction-fighting to the labor of its unfamiliar thought.”