“A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.”
“Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.”
“Prejudice, n. A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.”
“Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.”
“Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.”
“Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.”
“Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.”
“To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.”
“The are and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.”
“Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.”
“Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.”
“Backbite, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.”
“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”
“Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.”
“The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.”
“Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.”
“Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.”
“Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.”
“Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.”
“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”
“Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.”
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
“Abscond. To ''move'' in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.”
“Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.”
“Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.”
“Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”
“Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”
“Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.”
“Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.”
“An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.”