“The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist.”
“In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it.”
“Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned.”
“My religion? Well, my dear, I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.”
“There are no secrets better kept than the secrets everybody guesses.”
“Man can climb to the highest summits, but he cannot dwell there long.”
“The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there.”
“We want a few mad people now. See where the sane ones have landed us!”
“Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.”
“Virtue consists, not in abstaining from vice, but in not desiring it.”
“He never does a proper thing without giving an improper reason for it.”
“The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel.”
“There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.”
“Youth is such a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.”
“Man is the only animal of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid of.”
“Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.”
“I enjoy convalescence. It is the part that makes the illness worth while.”
“Hell is paved with good intentions, not with bad ones. All men mean well.”
“When Satan makes impure verses, Allah sends a divine tune to cleanse them.”
“No question is so difficult to answer as that which the answer is obvious.”
“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.”
“No man can be a pure specialist without being in the strict sense an idiot.”
“I have to live for others and not for myself: that's middle-class morality.”
“As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.”
“The more I see of the moneyed classes, the more I understand the guillotine.”
“Self-denial is not a virtue, it is only the effect of prudence on rascality.”
“Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.”
“The things most people want to know about are usually none of their business.”
“The joy in life is to be used for a purpose. I want to be used up when I die.”
“Science becomes dangerous only when it imagines that it has reached its goal.”