Who said “Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.”?

“Life is a horizontal fall.”

“Life loves the liver of it.”

“There is no wealth but life.”

“All of life is a foreign country.”

“Life is made up of marble and mud.”

“To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.”

“An autobiography is obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.”

“The young always have the same problem — how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this problem by defying their elders and copying each other.”

“Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.”

“If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.”

“Manners are love in a cool climate.”