Who said “An autobiography is obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.”?

“Every autobiography is concerned with two characters, a Don Quixote, the Ego, and a Sancho Panza, the Self.”

“When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do -- well, that's Memoirs.”

“All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.”

“Members rise from CMG (known sometimes in Whitehall as ''Call Me God'') to KCMG (''Kindly Call Me God'') to GCMG (''God Calls Me God'').”

“I write fiction and I'm told it's autobiography, I write autobiography and I'm told it's fiction, so since I'm so dim and they're so smart, let them decide what it is or it isn't.”

“To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.”

“Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.”

“The young always have the same problem — how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this problem by defying their elders and copying each other.”

“Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.”

“If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.”

“Manners are love in a cool climate.”