“Lord, let me live until I die.”
“I never met a man I didn't like.”
“No party is as bad as its leaders.”
“Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.”
“All I know is just what I read in the papers.”
“I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.”
“Everybody is ignorant -- only on different subjects.”
“It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.”
“One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials.”
“The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.”
“Being a hero is about the shortest lived profession on earth.”
“There should be one day when there is open season on senators.”
“Things will get better -- despite our efforts to improve them.”
“An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else s.”
“It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.”
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.”
“Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.”
“There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.”
“America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.”
“Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.”
“If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?”
“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”
“The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”
“I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!”
“Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.”
“If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.”
“A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.”
“Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.”
“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”