Who said “Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she's a householder.”?

“One fool at least in every married couple.”

“They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.”

“Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.”

“I never hate a man enough to give him his diamonds back.”

“'Tis safest in matrimony to begin with a little aversion.”

“Literature is the orchestration of platitudes.”

“Many plays — certainly mine — are like blank checks. The actors and directors put their own signatures on them.”

“There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning.”

“It is only in appearance that time is a river. It is rather a vast landscape and it is the eye of the beholder that moves.”

“The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we do. It is a purer act of faith than the procreation of children.”

“My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate -- that's my philosophy.”