Who said “No man worth his salt, no man of spirit and spine, no man for whom I could have any…”?

“To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job.”

“Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.”

“Those men are most apt to be obsequious and conciliating abroad, who are under the discipline of shrews at home.”

“The bitterest creature under heaven is the wife who discovers that her husband's bravery is only bravado, that his strength is only a uniform, that his power is but a gun in the hands of a fool.”

“I revere the memory of Mr. F. as an estimable man and most indulgent husband, only necessary to mention Asparagus and it appeared or to hint at any little delicate thing to drink and it came like magic in a pint bottle; it was not ecstasy but it was comfort.”

“I'm as pure as the driven slush.”

“I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.”

“Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.”

“It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work -- the night watchman.”

“I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.”

“Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, ''I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.''”