Who said “A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.”?

“Extraordinary creature! So close a friend, and yet so remote.”

“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”

“If a dog doesn't put you first where are you both? In what relation? A dog needs God. It lives by your glances, your wishes. It even shares your humor. This happens about the fifth year. If it doesn't happen you are only keeping an animal.”

“The more I see of men, the more I like dogs.”

“The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.”

“Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.”

“Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.”

“One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.”

“Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.”

“How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!”

“The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.”