“I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.”
“Be to their virtue very kind; be to their faults a little blind.”
“It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men.”
“One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.”
“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”
“All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.”
“Successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman, and God.”
“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.”
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.”
“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.”
“I've been married so long, I am on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce.”
“Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she's a householder.”
“The best part of married life is the fights. The rests is merely so.”
“Polygamy is an endeavor to get more out of life than there is in it.”
“A marriage is no amusement but a solemn act, and generally a sad one.”
“Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.”
“A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.”
“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.”
“The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds -- they mature slowly.”
“Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.”
“Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet to be invented.”
“If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter.”
“We often marry in despair, so that we repent of it all our life after.”
“Married life requires shared mystery even when all the facts are known.”
“A man in love is incomplete until he has married -- then he's finished.”
“Never marry a man who hates his mother, because he'll end up hating you.”
“Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. Afterward the ''y'' is silent.”
“Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.”
“It destroys one's nerve to be amiable every day to the same human being.”
“If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.”