“Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.”
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
“If a man truly wants to communicate with his wife, he must enter her world of emotions.”
“There's nothing like a Catholic wedding to make you wish life had a fast forward button.”
“Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.”
“There is no subject on which more dangerous nonsense is talked and thought than marriage.”
“The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.”
“A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.”
“Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant. Of a teacher and a learner.”
“Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.”
“The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.”
“It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.”
“Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip.”
“My wife isn't married to me forever; she's married to me for good. That keeps me on my toes.”
“That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked.”
“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.”
“They flaunt their conjugal felicity in one's face, as if it were the most fascinating of sins.”
“Instead of getting married again. I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.”
“I'm certain that most couples expect to find intimacy in marriage, but it somehow eludes them.”
“As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.”
“There is a French saying: ''Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.''”
“One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.”
“I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.”
“There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.”
“The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.”
“In our monogamous part of the world, to marry means to halve one's rights and double one's duties.”
“Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.”
“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -- as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”
“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”
“If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.”